Fater's corner

Beginnings

 

I wake up with a strange feeling around me. Standing on a plane of nothingness, surrounded by cold, remembering nothing. Oh, that’s not right. I know that I’m a soul and I’m waiting for judgement. Since I’m waiting for a judgement that means my old world does not have a god, since they would be over with it instantly. If I’m a soul why do I know this? It’s probably engraved in me to help me understand the things around me...

 

There is a saying “I know that I know nothing” but it’s confusing to not know what you know. And it’s even more confusing to think about it.

 

Hm.. It seems that I’m not waiting anymore. Some entity, possibly a god put the knowledge in my soul to choose my next life from a mental list. I understand that I am not choosing my next life but instead determine how my soul will form in the future. I guess it would be useless if I won’t remember anyway. Let’s see… Mental list…

 

It’s empty. What the hell.

 

What should I do now? I don’t really care about my next life if I will not even remember. Maybe I could be nice giving the next me a good life, but she will be not me. There is also that if not me, someone else will fulfill the role and suffer in my place.

 

I’m a little glad that I don’t have to make this choice, but what can I do in this empty space?

 

_____________________

 

It’s boring. Time does not flow here to my understanding and there is nothing here. I have zero options to do and don’t know how long I’ve been here. I feel that time passes yet not notice it.

 

Today is the unknown day of the nothingness year. Yeah I was bored and started to count in ascending order. Before I noticed it, I was already at such high numbers I don’t even know of. Pronouncing the number in my head takes longer than the time I already spent here.

 

I feel that during this time I would have died in old own word at least that number already. It’s just an uneducated guess. How should I know.

 

I’m surprised I did not turn insane. Can a soul even turn insane?

 

______________________

 

A light spark emerges in a distance. I try to move towards it but it’s far away. Before I could approach it, it vanishes. I don’t understand the time here but it was such short time even if was right next to it I could not examine it.

_________________________

 

A slightly larger spark glimmers near me. It does not fade instantly. I try to reach it with my mind, but it moves away a short distance, to not let me. Since all I can do is stare at it, I let out a mental sigh. After a short time it approaches me.

 

(little light) “Who might your greatness be?” I frown at the unexpected response.

 

“I don’t know. Who are you? Why do you call me so formally?” The little light flicks a little.

 

(little light) “I’m Cogn, deity of knowledge. I don’t understand your situation, but your soul is much greater than mine, can’t you see it?”

 

I try to look at myself hearing that. Indeed, my light is many times larger than the small lights.

 

(little light Cogn) “If you don’t take any offence, I can grant you my knowledge in exchange a wish. I’m quite knowledgeable of my old world.”

 

“What do you mean? And what do you want?” The little light is suspicious, but I don’t have anything else now.

 

(little light Cogn)  “In my old world I died in a war and I don’t have the power to stay alive. Since I’m in this void, when we stop speaking my soul will evaporate forever. The reason I’m still here is that while we talk our time perception stops.

 

What I want is that since you are a greater being with my knowledge you can put me in another world to stay alive. I’ll help you to manage your world. You will understand.”

 

For me this is a good deal, but without knowing what I’m doing it’s hard to accept. I’m afraid that this entity hoaxes me. Well, it’s lot like any other choices.

 

“Without my knowledge I’m unable to make a judgement, all I can promise that if you won’t deceive me I’ll keep my word.” I utter to it.

 

“I have no idea how you could lose knowledge being so powerful, I hope you will understand me after seeing my soul. And… Please don’t resist or you will kill me.”

 

The small light slowly touches me like when a drop of tear hits the surface of the ocean. A small warm feeling pours in filling me with countless millenniums of knowledge, experience and feelings.

 

This small light… no. Cogn. He is a respectable person, staying neutral in conflicts while keeping others safe from the backstage. Why did they kill him? Why was he betrayed by everyone for his knowledge? After all that, he gives it away in desperation, hoping it will be in good hands. I promise myself that I’ll give him back what he deserves.

 

When our connection breaks, I smile with my soul gently at him. Now I understand how this “world’ works, as far as I have to. I concentrate my soul and prepare a new plane, for Us.

 

“Let us depart to a whole new world.”

 

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Chapter one

 

I seem to have spent an unimaginable long time in the void, that should have killed me in a flash. Theoretically someone kept me safe for that short amount of time I was “judged”, after that some kind of reason the void did not attack me. Maybe it accepted me as nothing. Well, for now it does not matter.

 

At the moment we, me and little light are in a different plane, in my own world. Using the knowledge I created this place and brought us here. This is the same as the void at the moment yet it’s not cold. It’s gentle warmth surrounds me.

 

Next to me I see a man. Little light in his human form stands in front of me, with curious eyes.

 

(Cogn) “Why don’t you use your body?-” he freezes a little ”- I beg your forgiveness. I suppose from now on I’m your subject, owning my life to you. I don’t have power to create a race, let alone a planet. Please inform me if you need anything”

 

If I had a body I would smile right now. From the depths of my soul I raise the laws of this universe. Creating an enormous planet, I raise a continent on it. I start to fill it with basic life forms, animals, plants. The only base I know is Cogn’s old world, but from that I’m able to create new things. Nothing is the same yet everything seems natural. I speed up time letting it grow.

 

Both of us happily watch as the plants and animals slowly fill the space by themselves, breed and proliferate. It makes my heart ache to see them die, but I understand that it’s the natural way of living. I gently embrace their souls and send then back on a new journey in my world.

 

I give some of my power to little light to help me maintain the balance. First, he created humans from monkeys. He seems very fond of them. Not so after, he created demi-humans from animals. They were far away from each other at the beginning, but as time went by they became more and more intelligent. They built cities, castles, fought and killed each other. My heart broke again seeing my own hurt itself. I beg to my only companion for help, yet he says it’s impossible to stop them from doing so.

 

This made me so sad, I secluded myself for a while. After a few hundred years I came back.

 

“What happened since then?” I ask with fear.

 

(little light) “I managed to make them less aggressive towards each other but…” he stops. I wait for his answer for a while. Maybe only minutes, maybe a year. “I sent messengers creating a religion that detests killing. The only problem is that the races don’t consider each other worthy worshipping the same goddess, making them… unfriendly.”

 

“I see..” I said. “Wait. You said you created a religion. Is that the power I felt coming towards me?”

 

(little light) “Yes. Their worship gives you power, remember?”

 

I don’t like it. Don’t worship me, don’t use me as reason to hurt each other. I think of many things yet don’t say anything.

 

I lead my gaze towards my children. I see many of them happy with their lives, playing, working, resting together. I see their pleasures and love, what makes me glad.

 

But I also see their sins. My sins. Countless killing, hurting. Smaller and larger wars, enslaving. I call for my companion.

 

“Little light” I say quietly.

(little light) “Why do you keep calling me like that?” He asks.

“Do you mind it?” I hear that my voice carries some sadness.

(little light) “No…”

“What do you think?”

 

In my sadness I raise my hands towards the trees.

 

I create pure, little creatures, fairies, whose sole purpose is to be happy and help others. They don’t have strength to hurt but they have the knowledge to collect the power of elements around them. I give them the power to able to alter their surroundings a little bit.

 

I watch them with warm eyes closely. These innocent little things only play or sleep while helping those in need, no matter of race. They heal the injured and guide the lost. I watch them for a time, until the humans find out about their powers…

 

They come using violence and numbers against them. There are too few of them and they don’t want to hurt others. I ask them to hide in the forests and lakes, which makes them adapt to their surroundings.

 

Still, many of them are captured. Caged like dangerous animals, played with like toys, tormented. After some time and experiments they manage to steal the power of magic, and breed a new kin, the elves.

 

The elves run away and seclude themselves in the forests, praying for their goddess’s forgiveness for every murder they commit. Living with the trees and being closer to fairies than humans, they adopt to the nature and magic better. The to magical species keep each other safe from the humans and even manage to make peace with the demi-humans.

 

But I can’t see anymore than that. I cry while hugging little light close to me, I cry day and night. After long time I manage to calm down, and fall asleep in his lap.

 

When I wake up from my slumber I notice that I still haven’t created my form yet. I see the anger in little light’s eyes as he looks at the world. My mood both improves and degrades as I notice that he used most of his power to shout into all their minds to stop hurting me, and even created a moon.

 

“Please don’t be angry at our children. It’s not their fault.” I say with a sad tone.

(little light) “How dare they hurt you!” He rages. I look gently at him.

“Little light” I say as we look at each other “I’m tired of not having a body. I want have a form like as you see me deep inside.” I tell him, and force my way into his weakened soul before he could protest. I give him some of my strength and take upon my new form his heart has created for me, gently smiling at him from his lap.

 

Chapter 2

 

My form changed into something resembling a human woman. My skin is rather light in colour compared to humans. The shape of mine is resembling such perfection that even my own soul feels crude in front of it. The only thing I can say, little light imagines me as the absolute purity and virtue. On my back folded small wings are waiting to be used. The new feelings of my body and soul are making me very happy. While laying in his lap, my face slightly blushes as I think of our circumstances.

 

In this position we stare at each other for a while and my smile forces him to calm himself down.

 

“What can I do to help them?”

(little light) “This is a hard question. Until they unite under a capable person you won’t be able to achieve what you want. The problem is that it’s almost impossible to find such person. You have the power to search for lost souls in the abyss though. If you bring them here before they die you might be able to help them.”

“Would they help?”

(little light) “ Since you save their lives they will. You can also give them small “gifts” in exchange. It’s easier to bestow one upon them in their soul forms. You can also earn their knowledge this way. And… If they betray you I can punish them without hurting ‘Your’ children.”

“They are ‘Our’ children. But it still sound like I’m using them unfairly. Are you sure this is the best for them?”

(little light) “You can always talk to them, ask them.”

“You are… Right...”

 

I force a smile on my face again, this time not genuine. My heart still feels heavy, but I have to do my best for our children. I have to ease their suffering and make the world a better place. Little light made me promise to never intervene directly in the world, saying that useless and I won’t be able to stop at one. He also said that it will considerably weaken me without any noticeable result.

 

He is wise and always knows what the best for me and them. He never lied to me. I depend on him too much… I have to learn to be able to support myself. This is a great opportunity.

 

After many goodbyes I somehow manage to part from him. It hurts so much but I know that I’m only a burden to him. Even though I saved him once, it was not by my own power. His knowledge and the power my soul gathered while sleeping in the abyss were not from my effort.

 

I’m in the abyss again. This time I use my power to keep myself still because if I get lost in time he will be gone by the time I arrive home. Frozen in this weird, unknow place, I see many small lights slowly losing themselves to the darkness.

 

Moving from one to another, speaking with them I realise they are the thrown away souls who were not able to reincarnate for some kind of reason. Most of them are arrogant gods and mortals went astray. They were abandoned or banished, left to die. I pity them but how could I have them in my own world, making the situation worse? There is no way I approve of this.

 

Sometimes, I feel a small pulsation here or there. Many soul in one place gather and get taken away elsewhere. I think this happens when a world gets destroyed.

 

When I’m close enough to one such phenomenon I gather as many of them before they die or get taken by else. Yes, else. There are others like me, travelling through the abyss. They don’t dare to approach me since they are much smaller.